Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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