In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
