I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
