But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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