is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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