11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
