1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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