Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
