dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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