'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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