OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
