Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
