True but thats because hes a fetus.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ugly people sure do ruin things
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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