giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
