She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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