Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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