but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
