she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
