rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
