Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
