The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
