here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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