Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
