that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
