she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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