question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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