the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
