I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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