Capitaan dildo arrescate!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
