he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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