I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
