I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
