Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
