Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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