she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She announced her abortion via fbk
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
