Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Randomize
