Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
vagina is talking i cant
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
