Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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