So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
