she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
