Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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