it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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