Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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