I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
