Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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