Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
