You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
