I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
and you fell through a lawn chair
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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