My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
