There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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