I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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